100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House
by Wolf's Thorn
Summary: ok so i got bored and had been reading 520 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts and got an idea. so i keep comin up w/ more rules 2 add & have decided 2 add a chapter everytime i come up w/ 50 or more new rules. but the titel will remain the same.
1. Chapter 1

_**100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:**_

_**1. I am not allowed to replace the nurses healthy food with candy, cupcakes, cake, and other fattening foods.**_

_**2. It is a bad idea to tell Ms. Van Dop that she takes herself too seriously.**_

_**3. I will not make fun of the fact that Dr. Gill looks like a rat.**_

_**4. I will not make fun of the fact that Dr. Davidoff looks like a vulture.**_

_**5. I will not tell Mrs. Enright to quit being a b*tch.**_

_**6. I will not start a bating pool on how long it will take Tori to leave Simon alone.**_

_**7. I will not tell Chloe that she raised an army of dead people in her sleep and started an apocalypse. **_

_**8. I will not call Derek "Wolf-boy", "Dog-boy", "Mutt", or "Dog-face".**_

_**9. It is a bad idea to tell Derek that Liam and Ramon kidnapped Chloe.**_

_**10. It is a bad idea to make fun of Derek, Chloe, Simon, and Tori about how they are genetically modified.**_

_**11. I am not allowed to go into the crawl space.**_

_**12. I am not allowed to start a bating pool on how many times Ms. Wang says "I QUIT!"**_

_**13. I am not allowed to insist that Derek needs a flea collar.**_

_**14. I will not call Derek a "nice doggy".**_

_**15. I am not allowed to lock Tori and Rae in a room to see who will come out alive.**_

_**16. I should never argue with the nurses because they will always win in the end.**_

_**17. I will not sing, hum, or recite the song "Animal I've Become By: Three Days Grace" in front of Derek.**_

_**18. I will not call Tori the "Pill Princess".**_

_**19. I will not mention Liz's poltergeist.**_

_**20. I will not suggest that Tori and Simon should go out.**_

_**21. I will not tempt to confuse Derek for the results are not good.**_

_**22. I should not remind Derek and Chloe of the crawl space incident for it is hazardous to my health. **_

_**23. I will not tell Davidoff that he is not helping anyone by killing teenagers or children. **_

_**24. I will not refer to Tori as Simon's stalker.**_

_**25. I will not refer to Simon as Chloe's stalker.**_

_**26. I will not refer to Derek as Chloe's knight-in-shining-armor.**_

_**27. I will not tell Tori that she needs to quit trying to kill the new kids.**_

_**28. I will not hide out in the boys' bathroom just to scare Derek.**_

_**29. I will not hide out in the boys' bathroom to discuss escape plans with Derek.**_

_**30. I will not hide behind Derek when Tori and Rae fight.**_

_**31. I will not call Tori and Simon "divas" even if it is true.**_

_**32. I will not break into Dr. Gills office to steal files on other patients to use as blackmail against them.**_

_**33. I will not make fun of Chloe's stutter nor will I tell someone to hit her on the back to "restart" her.**_

_**34. Derek has heard all of the "wolf-boy" jokes and comments and finds it annoying now.**_

_**35. Tori does not need to be reminded that her mother thinks she is worth nothing.**_

_**36. I am not allowed to take advantage of Tori when she is doped up on meds and take all of her clothes and hide them.**_

_**37. I will not ask if Derek has thrown anyone into a wall lately. **_

_**38. I will not ask Simon if he has had a switch-blade held to his neck lately.**_

_**39. I will not ask Chloe if she has seen any burnt up custodians lately.**_

_**40. I will not ask Chloe what happened the night Liz was "transferred". **_

_**41. It is unacceptable to tell Derek to "get a life".**_

_**42. I am not allowed to tell the nurses "to get a life". **_

_**43. It is wrong to take revenge on Derek for being honest about someone.**_

_**44. Simon and Derek are not blood related and they know this so do not act surprised when they say they are brothers.**_

_**45. I will not mention to Simon nor Derek that their "totally awesome" father has not come to get them yet.**_

_**46. I will not ask Chloe how her mom died.**_

_**47. I will not ask Rae what happened to her real mom.**_

_**48. I will not ask Rae why she tried to burn her foster mom.**_

_**49. I will not yell "BURN!" when Rae supposedly burns Tori with her bare hands.**_

_**50. I will not tell Derek to quit eavesdropping from the main floor of the house.**_

_**51. I will not tell Chloe "I see dead people" for it only makes her mad.**_

_**52. I am not allowed to suggest that Chloe and Derek should go out.**_

_**53. I am not allowed to sneak out even if I do know the alarm's code.**_

_**54. I will not start a bating pool on how many times Derek will walk in right when Simon is about to make a move on Chloe for it is tasteless and tacky.**_

_**55. I will not start a bating pool on how many times Simon will try to make a move on Chloe.**_

_**56. I will not go up to Simon after Derek walked in while Simon tried to make a move on Chloe and say "Alls fair in love and war."**_

_**57. I will not ask Derek if the pack is after him.**_

_**58. I will not ask Derek "What happens when you tick off the pack?".**_

_**59. I am not allowed to slap the cheerfulness out of Simon even if it is a depressing day.**_

_**60. I am not allowed to tell Tori that her clothes are out of style and that gothic is in.**_

_**61. I am not allowed to tell Tori that her shoes are out of style.**_

_**62. I am not allowed to replace all of Tori's clothes with all black gothic clothing and shoes.**_

_**63. I am not allowed to ask Chloe if she will become emo or gothic.**_

_**64. I will not ask Chloe if she has summoned any dead family members lately.**_

_**65. I will not ask Rae what she has against Tori.**_

_**66. I will not ask Tori what she has against Rae.**_

_**67. I will not ask Chloe what her necklace is supposed to do.**_

_**68. I will not tell Derek that he will never change into a full-blown wolf.**_

_**69. I am not allowed to say that Dr. Gill is crazy.**_

_**70. I am never allowed to ask what really happened to Liz, Brady, and Amber.**_

_**71. I am not allowed to go to class in pajamas.**_

_**72. I am not allowed to hide out in my room.**_

_**73. I will not sing or hum "Shut Up By Simple Plan" for the nurses tend to think you are literally telling them to shut up.**_

_**74. There never has nor will there ever be a karaoke night at Lyle House.**_

_**75. Telling Derek to put on deodorant is very rude.**_

_**76. Telling Derek to wash his hair is also rude.**_

_**77. I will not tell Derek that Chloe is his mate.**_

_**78. I will not tell Chloe that she is Derek's mate.**_

_**79. I will not send a love note to Simon and sign it Chloe.**_

_**80. I will not send a love not to Tori and sign it Simon.**_

_**81. I will not say Simon is "Gay".**_

_**82. It is unacceptable to sell tickets to one of Tori and Rae's annual fights.**_

_**83. I am not allowed to tell Simon that Derek and Chloe are going out.**_

_**84. I will not lock Derek and Chloe in a room just to see how long it will take them to realize they love each other.**_

_**85. It is wrong to lock Simon and Tori in a room to see if they kill or fall in love with each other.**_

_**86. It is wrong to steal Chloe's necklace.**_

_**87. It is wrong to tell Rae that she is over weight.**_

_**88. I will not ask the nurses if there is a dr. named House.**_

_**89. I will not scream "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" when they come to "transfer" me.**_

_**90. I will not ask Tori if she has a flying broomstick. **_

_**91. I will not ask Simon if he has an invisible flying car.**_

_**92. I will not ask if Derek has ever been to Forks, Washington.**_

_**93. I will not tell Derek that I'm stronger than him when I know I am sadly not.**_

_**94. I will not tell Derek and Chloe that they are prefect for each other then list the reasons.**_

_**95. I will not call 911 and tell them that I am being held against my will by mad scientist that genetically modified me at birth. **_

_**96. I am not allowed to ask Derek if I look like a moron for I probably will not like his answer.**_

_**97. NEVER ASK ANYONE THE QUESTION "DO I LOOK LIKE A MORON?!" FOR THE RESULT IS THE TRUTH AND IS NOT VERY NICE.**_

_**98. NEVER TELL A LIE…unless you are a nurse.**_

_**99. I am not a nurse therefore I can not give out any kind of pills.**_

_**100. Never try to run away from Lyle House because they do have guards with guns and they are not afraid to shoot you. (tranquilizer gun or a shot gun they don't care. Their policy is "Bring them back dead or alive.")**_


	2. Rules 101 through 150

**100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:**

**Ok so what im going to do is add rules until i get to 500. but the title will remain 100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House. rules 101-150 are in this chapter now if you want me 2 put more than 50 rules in the next chapter leave a review sayin so. Btw srry it took so long to update but it takes me awhile to think up good funny rules...=) any ways enjoy this chapter!!!**

**CHAPTER 2: RULES 101-150:**

101: Tori is not the wicked witch of the west.

102: Mrs. Enright is not the wicked witch of the west.

103: Tori will not melt if you throw water on her.

104: Mrs. Enright will not melt if you throw water on her.

105: Derek does not want a chew toy.

106: I am not allowed to steal Simon's sketch book or other art supplies.

107: Derek does not need to be told that he will not get a girlfriend if he doesn't change his looks or attitude.

108: I will not draw a lighting bolt on Simon's head and yell "HEY IT'S A WANNA-BE HARRY POTTER!"

109: I will not ask Dr. Davidoff if he is in a family of vultures.

110: I will not ask Derek if his wolf senses are tingling.

111: I will not ask Derek if he has scared Chloe lately.

112: I will not tell Simon that Tori and Derek are going out.113: I will not scream in the middle of class "Derek & Chloe go out!" just to tick Simon off.

114: I will not scream in the middle of breakfast, lunch, or dinner just because it gets to quiet.

115: I am not allowed to yell "BURN!" when ever Simon yells at Tori.

116: I am not allowed to call Dr. Davidoff a "wanna be Dr. House."

117: I will not sing or hum "Teenagers by: My Chemical Romance."

118: I am not allowed to start a bating pool on how many times Derek has to save Chloe.

119: I will not start a bating pool on how many times Derek or Simon can make Chloe blush.

120: I will not ask Derek if he has seen his "brothers" lately.

121: I am not allowed to tell Chloe that Derek turned himself over to the pack.

122: I am not allowed to eavesdrop on other peoples conversations.

123: I am not allowed to tell Derek that Chloe killed herself.

124: I am not allowed to tell Tori that her real dad is a sorcerer.

125: I will not ask Derek if he has talked to Liam and Ramon lately.

126: I will not ask Derek why he is anti-social.

127: I will not ask the other patients why they are at Lyle House.

128: I am not allowed to yell "I FOUND NARNIA!" at any time.

129:I should not suggest to anyone "If nothing goes right go left."

130: I am not allowed to suggest that Chloe get a change in clothes.

131: No matter how much I want to I can not lock anyone in the crawlspace.

132: I will not scream in the middle of class "I am insert supposed mental illness here!"

133: I will not refuse to take my meds.

134: I will not say Rae is playing with matches.

135: I will not throw my steal back ipod at someone- even if they are ticking me off.

136: I am not allowed to sneak up and scare Chloe.

137: If someone tells me to "Go to hell." I will not say "I'm already there."

138: I am not allowed to jump out of my bedroom window.

139: I am not allowed to take red paint or markers or any red writing material & write on the walls Davidoff is related to Lord Voldemort.

140: I will not ask if " Paparazzi by: Lady GaGa" is Tori's Life song.

141: I will not randomly get out of my seat and sit on the floor when I get bored.

142: I will not scream "100% of all suspected ninja pickles are not ninja pickles!" at anytime.

143: The answer to everything is not "CHICKEN!"

144: If Tori insults me I will not yell "Love you, too!"

145: I will not poke anyone because I am bored.

146: I will not poke anyone at all.

147: I will not ask Ms. Wang if she knew that "100% of all suspected ninja pickles are not ninja pickles."

148: I will not throw a pencil at Ms. Wang and blame it on a poltergeist.

149: I am not allowed to pull any pranks on anyone on April Fool's Day.

150: I am not allowed to pinch anyone on St. Patrick's Day because they are not wearing green.


	3. Rules 151 through 170

100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:

**ok Im sooooooooooooo sorry that this chapter did not have 50 rules if it did it would have gone to 200 but sadly my computer is about to die so i only went to 20. IM SOOO SORRY I LOVE YOU ALL 4 GIVING THESE SET OF FUNNY & STUPID RULES SO MANY GREAT REVIEWS I LOVE YOU ALL 4 THAT =) trust me i will update as soon as possible =) OH BTW 4 EVERYONE WHO WANTS 2 KNO MY FRIENDS GAVE ME THE IDEAS =)**

* * *

151: I am not allowed to tell Derek that he would look better if he didn't wear baggy clothes.

152: It is wrong to tell Derek that Jacob Black is his dad.

153: I will not ask Derek if he knows Professor Lupin.

154: I will not ask Simon if he got an acceptance letter from Hogwarts.

155: I will not tell Chloe that she looks like a twelve year old.

156: I will not scream "LIAR!" when the nurses tell me I can talk to Liz next weekend.

157: I will not tell Tori that ignorance is her new best friend.

158: I will not play my music so loud I can't hear the nurses tell me what to do.

159: I will not ask Derek if he is related to Sirius Black.

160: I am not allowed to take a picture of Derek and Chloe kissing.

161: I will not remind Tori that her DEAD mother killed Dr. Davidoff.

162: I will not remind Chloe that TECHNICALLY it was HER that KILLED Dr. Davidoff.

163: I will not remind Derek that he killed Liam.

164: I will not remind any of them that they had been betrayed.

165: I will not ask Derek if the 'Pack' is from La Push.

166: When talking about the battle between the Edison Group and them I will not say the Edison Group had a snowball's chance in Hell with winning.

167: I will not sing, hum, or recite "Overrated By: Three Days Grace" EVER.

168: I am not allowed to ask Chloe if it was fun almost being eaten alive by a demon possessed body.

169: I will not tell Chloe that Derek and Simon got into a HUGE fight.

170: I will not tell Tori that she did nothing for the group during the battle except almost getting killed.

* * *

**Ok thanks 4 reviewing please keep telling me what you think loves wolfgirl1314 =)**


	4. Rules 171 through 200

**Ok so these are rules 171 - 200! again srry it took so long to update but ive had some issues thinking up new rules. but honestly if anyone has an idea for a good rule snd me a msg or put it in a review =) i need all the help i can get! PS thnx 4 all the reviews =)**

100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:

171: I am not allowed to burn anything.

172: I am not allowed to scream anywhere "WHAT DO WE WANT? BRAINS! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? BRAINS!'

173: I am not allowed to go around saying "What's my motivation? STAYING ALIVE MAN! STAYING ALIVE!"

174: I am not allowed to leave hidden messages any where.

175: I am not allowed to leave Lyle House until my parents can get me or until I am "TRANSFERRED" *scary music from _Jaws _plays*

176: I am not allowed to hum the theme song to _Jaws_ at any time.

177: I am not allowed to sing "Hero or Monster by Skillet"

178: I am not allowed to tell people that I am the son/ daughter of Poseidon.

179: I am not allowed to tell people that I am the son/ daughter of any Greek God or Goddess.

180: I will not ask anyone if they are having issues getting to Narnia.

181: I will not tell someone that I have an invisible magical flying car.

182: I will not write "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." on my paper.

183: I will not tell people that I am actually a ninja.

184: I am not allowed to comment on Derek's puberty smack down.

185: I am not allowed to suggest that Lyle House have a field day.

186: I am not allowed to ask anyone if they would like to revolt.

187: I am not allowed to ask if I have to follow the rules

188: It is wrong to ask if Tori would have married Simon if they never knew they were brother and sister.

189: I will not tell Tori that she is a loser for liking her half-brother

190: I will not ask Simon if he felt like a loser because he lost Chloe to his brother.

191: I will not go around singing "Its true we're all a little insane…" by Evanescence. (Sweet Sacrifice is the name)

192: I will not ask the nurses if they are going to sacrifice us to the evil demons in Hell.

193: I will not find out who's a fan of what football team & put them against each other.

194: I will not divide the house and say who can come on what side of the house and who cant.

195: It is unacceptable for anyone to punch people.

196: It is ACCEPTABLE to kill them…as long as you are a nurse.

197: I am not a werewolf there for I can not see in the dark so I should not attempt a kitchen raid.

198: I am not a witch so I should not threaten people with binding spells.

199: I will not mention that 'lol' looks like a drowning man.

200: I will not name the drowning man (lol) after Simon, Dr. Davidoff, Derek, Tori, Rae, any of the nurses, or Chloe.


	5. Rules 201-210

**_100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:_**

201: I will not replace Derek's food with dog treats.

202: I will not ask Tori if I can see a picture of her sister.

203: I will not ask Tori who her real father is

204: I am not allowed to sing Poker Face and actually poke the nurses in the face with needles.

205: I am not allowed to ever tell Chloe and Derek I am from the future and their kid.

206: I will not bribe Derek to do my homework

207: I will not tell Simon that instead of writing a 500 word essay he should draw a picture cause a pictures worth a thousand words

208: I will not tell Tori that Derek likes her to freak her out

209: I will not ask Derek if he's going to bite Chloe and let her join his "wolf pack"

210: I will not ask Derek or Chloe when the wedding is


End file.
